Cold blooded organisms

Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier to complain about all the things that go wrong in life.

Coffee Break

Time seems to pass so quickly when you're busy.

I spent most of the day uploading the Cor Leonis remix album up to bandcamp, sketching out ideas for the artwork for each song, thinking about what each song means to me.

Some people might think it's silly to invest so much time and effort in to something that is not very popular.

But whatever others opinions of it, this is something that I made. For better or for worse, this is the shape of my soul.

Adventures

I always tend to be less adventurous than people might think of me.

I'm a picky eater, but I always worry about trying out new places, since I don't know if they'll have things I can eat, and I hate putting others in a weird mood by ruining their food time adventures.

But I'm always grateful to have friends that are willing to drag me out to new places. And while not every adventure has a good ending, every adventure is worth embarking on when you're with people who care for you.

Picking up the pieces

Sometimes the bad things that happen to us overwhelm us.
It makes all the little terrible things seem like things that end us, things that drag you in slowly and melt you away until there is nothing left of us.
It taints everything you see, to where you think that everything you have done amounts to nothing, and no matter how much you struggle, it will always win.

But it won't.

As long as we breathe, we will live to fight another day.

At rest

Sometimes it's important to sit and breathe out.

You just have to be careful that you don't get too comfortable and forget to breathe in.

Nerdy Girls

Last week, for the first time in off the internet, I ran in to someone who assumed that some girls only pretend to be interested in nerdy things.

Not only was I astounded that someone would expect me to agree that the nice girl who had just brought us our breakfast might be only pretending to be a nerd, but the assumption that they had a right to judge the worthiness of someone else in this niche little world of ours.

Why is it that some nerd men assume that being a nerd has such benefits to a girl that they would fake having nerdy hobbies?

I feel like it's little things like this that chip away at us.

Let's Talk

I believe that the world is fundamentally a terrible place filled with terrible people.

I think that humans evolved to be the most terrible things in a terrible world. And we are slowly coming to grips with the fact that we, as a species, are no longer comfortable with being terrible monsters.

And while you might feel like horrible person who doesn't do nearly the amount of nice things that you could be doing, remember this.

Every time you do some thing nice, something at least partially selfless, you are fighting generations of breeding, years of personal baggage, and the deep down survival tactics that tell you that you must come out on top at all costs.

When you try to make someone else's existence a more wonderful thing, you have managed to conquer your demons, break through your barricades, and show what it is to be human.

People aren't good because we are made to be good.
Whatever goodness that is born of us is because we struggle against ourselves to carve out something beautiful in this terrible world.

Sometimes I forget

With this new album, I've definitely been writing more about people, and specifically people relationships.

The overall feedback has been great, and I'm really touched by all the support you guys have shown me.

I'd like to think that I'm a big, strong independent robot who doesn't need people to say nice things about it in order to feel good, but the truth is that on bad days, I hunt through kind words and nice messages to remind me that the world is filed with lovely people.

Sometimes I get messages from my kouhai that have so many beautiful words of encouragement that my heart feels like it's going to burst from all the words of hope and affection.

I would still make music even if I never put it out in the world, but there's something special about feeling like the emotions you put in to words and melody resonating with other people out in this big world.

A lantern in the dark

The precious things you discover in life, are like stars in the night sky.

There are countless numbers of stars, and all of them may seem far away. They glitter and twinkle, reminding you of old memories, precious friends, delicious encounters, and the beautiful things in the world.

Sometimes you may forget about them, as you deal with one crisis or another, a meteor shower or a solar eclipse.

But when the night sky is the darkest, and there seems to be no lights on earth, you can always look to the sky and be amazed at how bright it shines for you.